Thursday, October 26, 2006

A Vile, Actionable, Calumny (Without Prejudice)

To: Ms. S. Bird

Dear Ms. Bird,

RE: Our Client, Mr. James N. Denham of Shachtman Towers, Birmingham, England

We act for the above-named in the matter of a Foul, Libellous, Defamatory and otherwise Actionable "article" that appeared, dated Sunday October 22 2006, upon a so-called "Web Log" above your name.

In the aforementioned "article" a False, Objectionable and altogether Misleading comparison is made between our Client and a certain character (known as "Father Jack") in a popular televisual entertainment programme, "Father Ted".

This Defamatory comparison constitutes a Vile Calumny and has caused our Client considerable Personal Distress, such that he has become altogether Unmanageable and otherwise Incapacitated. Medical evidence is presently being obtained, which we are confident will confirm that our Client has suffered permanent Psychological Damage as a result of your Irresponsible, Reckless and altogether Malicious so-called "article".

The above notwithstanding, our Client wishes it to be known that he has no objection, in Principle, to being compared with with figures from the world of popular entertainment and, indeed, has frequently been compared with (and mistaken for) the likes of Mr Ronald Coleman, Mr Clark Gable, and Mr Cary Grant.

Indeed, our Client has no objection, in Principle, to being compared with a Catholic Priest, so long as that Priest is Father Michael Logan, as portrayed by Mr Montgomery Clift in the cinematic production 'I Confess' (Dir: Alfred Hitchcock, 1953).

We are therefore instructed by our Client, Mr James Denham, to require and immediate Retraction, Apology, and monitary Compensation of a sum comensurate with our Client's Distress, Injured Feelings, Loss of Earnings, permanent Psychological Damage, and Detriment to Good Name and Reputation.

If such an Undertaking is not forthcoming, our Client instructs us pursue this Matter with the full rigour and force of the Civil Law.

Yours sincerely,

Ephraim I. Grabbit LLB

Partner: Mss'rs Sue, Grabbit & Runne.


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