Monday, August 21, 2006

So-called "Ball Tampering": No more than Islamophobia

A special report for Stupid Wanker:

The alleged "ball-tampering" at the Oval is no more and no less than the latest example in a long line of British state-sponsored Islamophobia. The supine parroting of so-called "information" deliberately fed by the International cricket Council's elitist and imperialist umpiring panel is now widely discredited, despite the ICC chief executive Malcolm Speed's attempts to smear the heroic Pakistanis. The fact that the instigator of this anti-Muslim outrage, Darrell Hair, is an Australian, is no coincidence: Australia is the only supporter of Bush and Blair's so-called "war on terror"in the whole of the rest of the world. No wonder Hair was determined to use all means at his disposal to humiliate and disqualify the heroic Islamic team from Pakistan: when you hear the totally biased British media uncritically repeating Hair's claims of " deadly ball tampering", just remember Blair's claims about so-called "weapons of mass destruction" and the so-called "Forrest Gate" shooting of Charles de Menezes within "45 minutes". No wonder no-one believes a word that the ICC have to say.

As renowned war reporter Claud Cockburn once said: "Believe nothing until it is officially denied". Why haven't more of the supine parrots of the British so-called "media" heard of that quote, and acted upon it.

The official persecution and trial by media of the totally innocent Inzamam-ul-Haq, is clearly because the British secret services suspect him of being the captain of the Pakistani cricket team -solely on the basis of his name and beard - and without a shred of evidence. The official so-called "media" therfore have already found him guilty of deadly ball-tampering and other (unnamed) so-called "offenses". With sinister intent, Blair's poodle Speed says "The umpires are meeting to this morning to consider whether there should be any further charges in relation to the refusal by pakistan to take the fiels that resulted in the forfeit of the match." Speed closed with a typically menacing imperialist threat: "It may be that there is more than one charge".

Behind this Islamophobic conspiracy lies the hand of Tony "Bliar" Blair and his master George "Bush" Bush - not to mention the Zionist leader of so-called "Isreal", Ehud "Eliar" Olmert: none of them can bear the prospect of a muslim team defeating them at their national game, so will resort to the foulest accusations of so-called "deadly tampering" to stop the heroic resistance fighters of Cricketballah, who they have been totally unable to defeat by fair play. "It's just not cricket" is the cry that has gone up from millions of Cricketballah supporters throughout the region.

George Galloway says: "This is a typical piece of Western hypocrisy: Bush and Blair are responsible for, literally, millions of balls. But when one is allegedly tampered with by a heroic fighter like Inzamam-ul-Haq, they cry "foul" and call in their poodles, the so-called "umpires". No doubt because the Zionists cannot bear the sight of Muslims actually defeating the so-called "West" at its own game! The Stop the War Coalition will be responding with a "cricket match" in Trafalger Square.


Blogger A soft socialist said...

The most ridiculous thing I've heard for a long time!

2:07 PM  
Blogger stroppybird said...

Adele, so you don't read the Socialist Workers website then :-)

2:10 PM  
Blogger Renegade Eye said...

I understand the larger issue, but know nothing about cricket.

10:34 PM  
Blogger Jim Denham said...

renegade: that's the trouble with you Yanks - you don't appreciate the almost philosophical profundity of the thwack of leather on willow. BTW if you think my piece is satirical, take a look at today's (UK) Guardian, where one Mike Marqusee has a piece entitled "The Pakistanis were right to protest at rank injustice" (also viewable at the Gurdian's 'Comment is Free' site, plus comments from readers): Comrade Marqusee is not a member of the Stupid Wankers' Party for reasons best known to himself: but on most issues he shares their politics all down the line. it's beyond satire.

7:28 AM  
Anonymous Richard Bayley said...

Well Jim, would you believe Rob Hoveman has a letter in the Grauniad today on this very subject...quite reasonable too! Interesting that the former England stars in the Sky commentary box were backing the Pakistanis up...Umpire Darrell Hair has quite a bit of form regarding run-ins with both the Pakistan and Sri Lankan teams.

7:33 AM  
Anonymous Dave said...

And, on the Socialist Worker website:

'But we should be concerned about the Islamophobic undercurrent to this debacle. The willingness of many to ascribe base motives to an overwhelmingly Muslim team is not coincidental. It’s one reflection of a broader racism fuelled by Blair’s so-called ‘war on terror’. '

8:00 AM  
Blogger Jim Denham said...

Yes, I've just seen the SW piece. I must stop taking the piss out of the SWP's grovelling before Islamism and their willingness to ascribe something as trivial and debateable as an umpire's decision in a cricket match to "islamophobia" and the "so-called war on terror". They really are beyond satire.

8:19 AM  
Blogger voltaires_priest said...

I don't endorse the "war on terror" bollocks, which is obviously rhetorical crap from whoever wrote the SW article (the real one) - but on the substantive issue, is it really so unbelievable that there was an element of Islamophobia involved in the way the whole thing was conducted?

8:51 AM  
Blogger Simon B said...

The thing is though Jim, Hair has a history of clashes with the Pakistani team, and he also famously falsely warned the Sri Lankan spin genius Muralitharan for throwing the ball instead of bowling. I think there are serious issues about whether or not he is an anti-asian racist, rather than an Islamophobe.
There doesn't seem to be any evidence of anyone tampering with the ball, Sky have said they have no suspicious footage. The ball wasn't much different to any ball of that age.
Of course if the SWP are claiming that Hair is carrying out some kind of anti-Muslim conspiracy on behalf of greater powers, then this should be challenged and mocked, but I certainly think there is an issue with Hair, and why he keeps being chosen to umpire Pakistan matches, I have no idea.

Anyway, this has really pissed me off, as I heard the farce unfolding on the radio while I was travelling to London on Sunday, in order to go to the last day yesterday.

11:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


All you've done here is rewrite a fairly well argued article in so called "your" own trademark sparty style.

2:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Long Live Jim Denham! Cut up his opponents and leave them in buckets!

2:10 PM  
Blogger A soft socialist said...

fuunily enough the swp don't usually provide me with reading material although its always good for a laugh.

3:08 PM  
Blogger Jim Denham said...

Anonymous #1; I wrote the "Stupid Wanker" piece *before* I saw the beyond-satire SWP article (before it was ven put on the web, I think). I honestly didn't believe they'd really take that line. But I must admit, it is a little gobsmacking to be outdone in ridiculousness by the target of your own satirical efforts.

2:00 AM  
Blogger voltaires_priest said...


"Well argued"? Have you been reading the same article as the rest of the world?

3:39 AM  
Anonymous Janine said...

Does the SWP believe that old-fashioned anti-Asian racism does not exist any more? Is *every* piece of prejudice aimed at people from a part of the world where there are a lot of Muslims now "Islamophobia"?!

I could believe that an umpire might act in a racist or otherwise prejudiced way. But why does the SWP assume that is because of the Pakistan cricket players' (perceived) religion, rather than because they are Pakistani?

It seems to me that ignoring the possibility of straightforward anti-Asian racism is highly negligent. Will the SWP leave the ground clear for Paki-bashers because it doesn't fit in with its current insistence that everything bad is Islamophobic?

6:31 AM  

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